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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28777092">for the price of One (1) Kibble</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcadeGhostAdventurer/pseuds/ArcadeGhostAdventurer'>ArcadeGhostAdventurer</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>+ fanart of CatBoy Steve, And he wants someone to love him for himself, Catboy Steve, Catboys &amp; Catgirls, Crack Treated Seriously, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, M/M, Steve is a catboy who is also a prince, This Is STUPID, Tony just wants to touch his boyfriend's hair</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:48:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,069</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28777092</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcadeGhostAdventurer/pseuds/ArcadeGhostAdventurer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve is a weirdo. But it's okay. He is Tony's weirdo. And Tony doesn't have a leg to stand on on that topic, anyway.</p>
<p>It's just- Well, Tony would love to see him without his beanie once. You know. That would be nice.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Steve Rogers/Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>70</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>for the price of One (1) Kibble</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>BLAME NEB! BLAME NEB! NEB, NEB, NEB!!! HER FAULT!!</p>
<p>Hey Neb, I hope you like it. ILU!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It starts with Steve instinctively pushing shit off of Tony's table. Tony wants to show him his new projects, get Steve involved because that's what they're doing now. Getting involved in each other's stuff. Because they are boyfriends.</p>
<p>The little clink is... Unexpected.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry," says Steve, pink all over. "I don't know what came over me, I'm sorry. It won't happen again."</p>
<p>It does. Several times.</p>
<p>Steve pushes the bolt off the table. The wrench. That almost gets Tony on the foot. A screw. Another screw when Tony leaves the garage to make coffee for himself and bring water for Steve.</p>
<p>Tony watches him through the door he left ajar. Steve gently pokes the screw down the table, then he pokes it with the tip of his shoe on the floor, watching it roll around with glee.</p>
<p>It’s weird. But it surely isn’t the weirdest thing that has happened throughout their relationship.</p>
<p>Actually, it’s a little refreshing. Tony has always been the weirdo in his relationships. He has no sleep schedule. He’s a billionaire, playboy (no longer), philanthropist. He talks to his home security systems and has a green energy company. </p>
<p>He also cannot take stuff from strangers when they pass things from hand to hand. He cannot drink very specific alcohol combinations because they trigger his depression. He can’t stand to be in cars when someone else is driving. And he definitely has trouble trusting people which turns forming relationships into a fucking hurdle race where hurdles have their own minds.</p>
<p>So Steve being a fucking weirdo instead of him, is something he actually welcomes. And clearly, Steve is soothed by the fact that Tony simply just… Doesn’t care all that much.</p>
<p>Tony looks around and sees one of the colorful post-it notes that he has lying around. He balls it up and tucks it into his pocket. Then picks up their drinks and walks back into the garage.</p>
<p>“You know I can actually see that when some of my very necessary building components suddenly disappear, right?”</p>
<p>Steve, at least, seems mollified, “I’m really sorry. It’s just that- They’re there and I just-”</p>
<p>Tony sets his cup and Steve’s glass down and throws him the little balled up post-it note. Steve bats it away, then immediately catches it with the tip of his shoe. It’s such a fluid motion, so cat-like in its cuteness that it’s impossible for Tony to get angry at him. </p>
<p>He can’t help it. He laughs.<br/>--</p>
<p>They had met at some kind of half-official function. Tony had been desperate to shake off the business people droning around him and had walked out onto a balcony he thought to be empty.</p>
<p>It had been occupied by a blond cutie who had been wearing a blue beanie on top of his suit and tie. </p>
<p>Well. Tony had been taken.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, his reputation had preceded him, even after Tony had chosen a quieter life. Less alcohol, less women, less men, less… Everything. </p>
<p>It had taken a little to convince Steve that he was really about the “less is more” lifestyle, especially when he had vintage champagne in his hand and had been wearing a three thousand dollar suit but well, it had worked. Somehow.</p>
<p>Complimenting Steve’s cute little beanie had worked, definitely. </p>
<p>“Oh!” Steve had fixed it with a little touch on the side, “I- My ears get cold, so,” he had shrugged. </p>
<p>Tony hadn’t been able to leave with him that night maybe; but he had left with a phone number and a promise to have coffee. Just coffee. Really. Nothing else.</p>
<p>And the reason had come out once they had sat down in an obscure little coffee shop that Steve had chosen, milky porcelain cups in hand. </p>
<p>“I’m kind of royalty,” Steve had squirmed, “Not really high up there but, well, I really don’t like calling people this but I’m sure you’re familiar with social climbers who want to use you as a, well, step.”</p>
<p>Tony had nodded. It had made sense that he didn’t want to leave with Tony right away that night. And well, it had been a subject they could both vent to each other about. It had helped them bond, in a way.</p>
<p>And still, Tony doesn’t regret the fact that started this relationship. Steve had told him in the beginning that he wanted to take things slow. Tony had been okay with that. He is still okay with that. And he had gone into this relationship knowing that.</p>
<p>It’s just that after a year of dating, you just want to run your hand through your significant other’s hair once. Just once. One single time.</p>
<p>Tony hadn’t even known that he had a hair kink. No wait, he hadn’t had one. Until Steve. Until Steve and his stupid little beanies and complete avoidance of taking them off or letting anyone touch his hair.</p>
<p>Tony cannot remember any other time in which he couldn’t care about sex this much. They hadn’t had any, yes. But that was something Tony had foreseen. That was something he had accepted once Steve had said he wanted to take things slow.</p>
<p>The constant beanie and no hair touching hadn’t been in the original agreement, Tony refuses to believe that. But also, he cannot understand why Steve is so against it.</p>
<p>You see, the worst part is, he wants to devise a plan. He wants to devise a plan to sneakily remove the beanie from Steve’s head and just bury his hands into those golden locks. Just give his boyfriend a kiss on the head. </p>
<p>The actual head. Not over the beanie.</p>
<p>But he also doesn’t want to do it. </p>
<p>Steve and him… It feels like they have a once in a lifetime thing going on. Tony, at this point, is quite sure that Steve is the one. Whether it’s when it’s Tony losing the track of time with projects, Steve agonizing over correspondances, arguing about the balance of keeping their relationship private from the public but not really a secret from their friends and family… </p>
<p>The good times are always good in any relationship. It’s when they disagree that Tony feels like this is it. Because they always find a way. They make it work.</p>
<p>He doesn’t want to fuck that up because he couldn’t keep his hands to himself. And about hair, of all things.</p>
<p>But that pushing stuff off of the table thing, combined with the hair thing, sticks with Tony. He doesn’t even know why. It just does, bounces around in his head like there is an obvious train of thought that he should have caught long ago.</p>
<p>He just can’t put a finger on it though.<br/>--</p>
<p>A quiet little brunch is where things come to head. And it’s all Dum-E’s fault. And in relation, Steve’s own fault because Tony had told him Dum-E was bound fuck something up. Steve, for some reason, cannot understand the bots are just bots and just feels an immense fondness for them.</p>
<p>Steve also had called it a “family brunch” and had said without “the kids” it wouldn’t be complete and Tony had been too full of emotions to properly argue with that.</p>
<p>“If you keep eating the mini sausages, we’ll just be having frittata muffins in the end.” </p>
<p>Steve pops another one in his mouth, fake guilt on his face, “We have enough.”</p>
<p>Dum-E pulls another pack from under the counter with its pincher. Steve coos and pets it.</p>
<p>“He’s just taking them out, I actually bought them,” Tony complains, continuing to chop vegetables, “I remembered you like mini sausages. I went and bought extra. Well, I didn’t buy them myself. I told Jarvis to put it on the shopping list but still. I remembered. I want that known before that trash pile gets all the credit.”</p>
<p>Steve smiles. Wrapping his hands around Tony’s waist from behind, coos just like he did for Dum-E and he plants a kiss on his head, “Don’t call him trash pile, you’ll hurt his feelings.”</p>
<p>I want to do that too, Tony doesn’t say. Instead he says, “It’s a robot, it doesn’t have feelings.” Steve steals another mini sausage from in front of him.</p>
<p>“Don’t put too much.”</p>
<p>Tony would have never thought that he would be the one in a relationship who promotes healthy eating habits but here he is, putting chopped bell peppers into their egg mixture as Steve tries to bat the pepper pieces off the board, “Steve, it’s frittata muffins! They can’t be just egg.” </p>
<p>“They could be.”</p>
<p>“No,” Tony picks up a shallot, cutting into it, “they cannot be. You get your mini sausages and I get my frittatas. It's a compromise.”</p>
<p>“But you like sausages,” Steve pouts.</p>
<p>It takes Tony every single ounce of self control in his body not to say I’d like your sausage more. Instead he keeps chopping up shallots as evenly as he can while Steve takes a step back and looks at the chopping board with discontent. </p>
<p>Steve hates many things. He hates bananas and cucumbers in any shape of form. Hates raw tomatoes but will eat them cooked. Garlic, he’s allergic to. And onions, he can tolerate in very small quantities when cooked thoroughly. </p>
<p>He hates tea; claims to love the smell of coffee but will not drink it. Soft drinks are a no-no. Alcohol, he indulges sparingly.</p>
<p>Oh he will eat raw sausages though, no hesitation whatsoever.</p>
<p>He’s a weirdo. But he’s Tony’s weirdo and Tony loves him. Also, Steve, in turn, says nothing about Tony’s dried berry and coffee addiction so it all balances out, really.</p>
<p>Their frittata muffins go into the oven and the remaining mini sausages go in the pan to sear and finally, the penthouse starts smelling like there is a proper brunch going on. Tony brews his coffee as Steve pops the bread into the toaster. </p>
<p>It’s nice. It’s homely. It’s everything Tony didn’t know he needed until he got it. He can only hope Steve feels the same.</p>
<p>Since the eggs can wait and the sausages will take their sweet time cooking, they have no reason to hurry. Which brings them to Steve's insistence that Dum-E gets to do something Tony would not allow any other time: Help with setting the table.</p>
<p>And Tony knows something will go wrong. It will. He made Dum-E. He loves Dum-E, even though he would never admit out loud. And he knows just how clumsy the thing is. It can’t help it. AI coding was stilted at best when Tony had made Dum-E and now, his hardware just wouldn’t handle that much updating.</p>
<p>So Tony definitely expects a broken glass or two. Or a plate. Spilled coffee. It’s bound to happen.</p>
<p>What he doesn’t expect is this chain of events: Steve asks Dum-E to bring him a fork. Dum-E, being the absolute fucking dummy that it is, grabs the foot-long carving fork from the drawer. Steve panics. Dum-E panics. Then Tony panics.</p>
<p>The rest is a bit of a blur. Steve tries to take the fork from Dum-E while it tries to return it to the drawer and Tony tries to make sure a carving fork is not how Steve meets his end. In the end, one of the prongs catches onto Steve’s beanie, pulling it clean off his head.</p>
<p>Steve screams. Tony screams. Dum-E… Well, Dum-E has no sound card.</p>
<p>They look at each other. Dum-E slowly lowers his pincher, laying the beanie back on Steve’s head on its side.</p>
<p>It doesn’t cover the two orange tabby cat ears.</p>
<p>“You-” Tony can only point at them.</p>
<p>“I can explain.”</p>
<p>“You-”</p>
<p>“I was planning to tell you, I swear.”</p>
<p>“When?!” Tony cannot name the emotions going through him. One side of him is devastated. The other can understand, logically, why Steve didn’t immediately want to tell him that he was the Crown Prince but he can understand. </p>
<p>Doesn’t mean he likes it though.</p>
<p>“I just! Oh God, this is a mess,” Steve buries his face into his hands, his ears flatten on his head, “I didn’t think we’d get this far.”</p>
<p>Tony can only stare at him incredulously, undecided if he should be sad or mad.</p>
<p>“Oh no! That was just the worst thing to say. It’s not about you, really! Wait no! Ugh!” He takes a deep breath. “I just wanted someone to care about me for just who I am! Being a royal is- God I sound vain. But, well, yeah.”</p>
<p>Steve continues, “I just thought this one would fall apart like my previous relationships. Bucky- He sets me up with people all the time. Sometimes it turns out they just wanted to climb higher on the social ladder. Sometimes it’s the political ladder,” he gestures broadly, “and that’s just even worse!”</p>
<p>He sags, “In the end it’s either because I can’t eat most of the things or because I get up at 3AM full of energy or because I like actual cat kibbles as a snack- It just gets too much and things fall apart and no one even sticks around for the benefits,” he scoffs.</p>
<p>“You like- Wait, you like cat kibbles? You never told me that either!”</p>
<p>“Tony!” Steve wipes a hand over his face, “that’s what you-” He sighs. “I just- I loved what we had! And then you said how it was nice to be with someone down to earth and kind of low-key and I panicked and then things got out of hand and I just kept saying I was going to tell you later and later and that later just- Never came I guess.”</p>
<p>“Did you just say what we had? Are we breaking up? Are you breaking up with me right now?”</p>
<p>“What? No! I mean- I don’t want to? I’m just trying to apologize!”</p>
<p>“Then apologize!”</p>
<p>“Well I’m sorry!”</p>
<p>“Okay! Fine! Why are you shouting?”</p>
<p>“Why are you shouting?!”</p>
<p>Tony opens his mouth. Then closes it. Opens it again. Rubs a hand over his face. </p>
<p>Frankly, this is not the most ridiculous situation he ever found himself in. It’s big, what Steve kept from him. That’s true. It’s a lot to take in at the moment. Not the fact that Steve is the Crown Prince but the fact that he has cat ears and cat mannerisms and cat appetite. Which all should have been very clear since the first moment but Tony is the dumbest genius that ever walked the earth and he just never-</p>
<p>“Do you also have a tail?”</p>
<p>Steve slumps, “I do.”</p>
<p>“Oh my God!”</p>
<p>They smell burning. It smells like the sausages.</p>
<p>“Oh no!” says Steve.</p>
<p>Simultaneously, “Oh fuck,” Tony says.</p>
<p>It is the sausages. They are not only burnt, but also smoking.</p>
<p>Once they eliminate the chance of a house fire (and without the help of Dum-E or its beloved fire extinguisher) and take out the over-cooked eggs from the oven, the situation calmed down a little bit. Tony is still hurt. And Steve is still abashed about everything, as he should be. </p>
<p>But it’s not unsalvageable. And it’s really just the saddest sight, seeing Steve’s ears lay down flat like that.</p>
<p>“If I knew you’d get hung up on that low-key thing I said, I would have never said it.”</p>
<p>“Tony-”</p>
<p>“No, listen,” Tony takes Steve’s hand in his, “ when I had said that, I had meant- Well, see how we’re now. We could be going out? Eating at the most expensive restaurant in the world. We could be having brunch in Paris. But you don’t want that. If you did, it’d give it to you. But you don’t. And frankly, I don’t either. I like having homemade, mediocre frittata muffins with you. I like that we make them together. When I had said low-key, that was what I was getting at.”</p>
<p>Steve smiles at him, bringing his other hand to their clasped ones, “I like that too. I didn’t want it to change. I- I don’t know why I thought it would. I don’t know. It all seems so silly right now.”</p>
<p>“It is. It really is.”</p>
<p>Steve sticks out his tongue at him.</p>
<p>“I don’t want things to change either. And yes, maybe your position combined with mine will make things hard at times, a Crown Prince and- Well, me.”</p>
<p>Steve rolls his eyes at him but Tony continues.</p>
<p>“But your- Your weirdness was never a turn-off Steve. You’re weird? I’m weird! Do you know how many of my dates just got up and left because I- Well, I can’t remember what I talked about in any of those occasions, probably something tech related but- I mean, you listened to a lecture about Dum-E! And it was a lecture, really, I shouldn’t have talked for that long, I’m still sorry-”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to apologize for talking, Tony.”</p>
<p>“And you don’t have to apologize because you don’t drink coffee. I’m serious Steve, just- I’m serious, tell me what kibble you like and I’ll get you kibble. This all seems very , well, inconsequential to me. Like, there isn’t anything else, right?”</p>
<p>“No! No, I-” Steve shrugs. “I guess it’s because- It happened too many times, you know. I didn’t want to lose what we had. I didn’t want to lose you.”</p>
<p>“You won’t! I promise you, Steve, just, yeah. I love you. I will love you with your cat ears and tail too. Honestly, I’m just more worried that Pepper will faint when she hears that you’re the Crown Prince. It’s a bit of an organizational nightmare for any future occasions we want to attend to, I guess.”</p>
<p>“I’m sure Bucky can help. I mean he did help me keep my identity secret for so long and if he didn’t blurt it out himself, then I’m sure we can just… Ease the media into it.”</p>
<p>They stand there for a moment. Just holding hands and looking at each other with smiling eyes. But it’s okay. Tony thinks it is. Yes, they had lost many good sausages and possibly half of the frittata muffins but his relationship is intact. And that is all that matters.</p>
<p>Then his eyes catch on Steve’s blond locks and little ears. And he thinks, I can do that now.</p>
<p>He brings up a finger, touching one of Steve’s ears. It twitches. “Oh God, that’s the cutest thing ever.”</p>
<p>Steve pushes his head into his hand. Just like a cat. And starts purring.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  
</p></blockquote></div></div>
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